This fantasy of mine turned into a Shakespearean tragedy when my office phone rang at six o'clock last Friday. It was Neil, commenting on the my Nugget story. The "Thank You" was half way out of my mouth when the arrogant prick dared to mutter the words "cake walk."
"Cake walk? CAKE WALK!? How dare you! Let's go. I'll buy. Concourse level Wendy's. 6:30" - Click.
I found my challenger deep in concentration, listening to the Rocky theme song. I escorted him to his prize fight, where this Wendy's employee accidentally threw in a bonus set of nuggs, bringing the total to 40. The scent of fate was in the air.
No sauce. No soda. Just 40 Nuggs and a small water. Rookie mistake? We'll see.
Reverse angle, lined up for consumption.
#8 I had never seen such raw determination in one man's face.
#8's cousin, #12, becoming a piece of Nugget history. I'm telling you, this kid was plowing through deep friend processed chicken like it was going out of style.
He blew through 20 nuggets in under ten minutes. My once thought untouchable record was starting to look like Single-A Ball.
6'3" 230 lbs. The Physical make up of a Nugget Eating Machine.
He also munched on my french fries, just to rub it in.
#28 with ease. I was starting to think that only a holy war could stop this Godsent prophet from reaching 600.
#31 gave the challenger a run for his money. He came inches away from puking after a violent coughing fit, which would have disqualified him from the competition. Even though Neil's a good friend, I kinda hoped he would die to preserve my record.
#33 You know when you played basketball in high school, and your JV-caliber varsity team is getting smoked by a Division 1 school, and it's the 4th quarter, they're up by like 60 points, and all they do is toss ally-oop after ally-oop. Well the last 10 nuggets felt a lot like that.
#34 Breaking the color barrier in the sport of Nugget eating.
A group of tourists came strolling by as Neil was gliding into a new frontier. Empty Wendy's bag doubled as a crown fit for a king.
The Nugget Dance
We searched high and low for someone to hand deliver the 40th nugget. This friendly Starbucks employee was a little apprehensive at first, but when we told her he was eating for "The Kids without Nuggs" charity, she slapped on the sanitation gloves...
and delivered #40. A Nugget King was born.
Carnage.
Post nugget wrap party. When I ate 26 nuggets, I practically crawled across the parking lot. This kid slams 40 in under 20 minutes and still has the energy to freestyle.
Although my spirits were shattered, I had to honor the new record with dignity. The silhouette crane kick, the ultimate sign of respect in a Nugget eating contest. I bow before you, Nugget King.